Breathe!

Green Sea Turtle 3
Originally uploaded by blue.shark

Do you remember that time? When you were a child and it was all you could do to keep from drowning? I remember it multiple times. My brother and I spent so much time swimming in the summers that we started to grow gills, but sadly they didnt work. I know because of those big pull parties. We would have with more floating chairs then one pool should ever have. And you go swimming under water for the love of a handstand and bam, all of a sudden your cousin is surfing on a pool raft over your head and you only realize how big it is because you cant breath and its between you and life giving breath.

Thats how I feel today. I was counting down the days to a promotion and she informed me that I have not met one of my goals the entire time I thought I was. So now, the promotion I have to get after nine consecutive months of meeting my goals is a heartstopping eight months away. I want to say how its not fair and life isnt fair. I want to point out all the reasons my boss did this too me and that its not actually my fault. But the reality is the raft is now a lot bigger then I thought it was and I was the one to make the decision to duck under the water in the first place. So panic, tears or fear of failure dont matter anymore I suppose. All that matters is the need to breathe.

When I was a child, I was always so impressed with my own ability to get over the fear, hunker down and do what needed to be done to survive. I like to think when the aliens come, Ill be one of those fast thinkers. I am not sure pool floaties and seven year olds are really the best judgement of that... unless the aliens are allergic to water. Then Im totally good. :)