Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm not sure what to say today. I find such stress on my birthday, like I have this responsibility to be gracious since everything is focused on me today. I suppose that's a silly notion. Its really just another day, its just special to me. I have however, in the last few years learned how to relax and just let it be. So in that spirit, I have some things to say, not because any other reason then I want to say them.

I have a friend who, on this most special of days, is being admitted into the hospital. She is sick and if she makes it through this, she will hopefully be home in about a month. If she doesn't, then she will be free to dance on the wind and brighten the sun. I adore her really, in all the ways she selflessly gives and openly loves no matter the consequences. I'm exhausted today because I literally stayed up half the night spending time with her and you know, I wouldn't have written this week any differently. Last night was so very special to me. It is the epitome of what friends are.

She gave of herself, letting herself laugh and be silly because she knew I needed to see her joy. And I gave of my time because she needed a friend. For eternity, that night will be suspended in my mind, frozen to just be a slice of joy and silliness in the middle of all that life is. It was special and brilliant and my friends, I hope someday you all have a moment like that.
I cannot say if I will ever get to speak to her again, but its ok. I think we are both at peace of the journey that is to come. The next month is shrouded in darkness and the unknown. All I can really tell you is that she and I are at peace for the coming storm, we are ready for this battle.
She taught me so much in these precious moments and I feel compelled to change my stance on many things. A few posts ago, I stated that I believe this last year has been a failure for my lack of doing anything really and I change my mind. This last year I have let go of old demons, I have deepened relationships and I have lived.

Life, I know now, is not about progress. Its a journey and sometimes, its time for a picnic. This year was my picnic. It wasn't always happy or clean or picture perfect, but it was life and as Pastor Steve says, life in all its imperfections is perfect.
I live and the silly little health problems I have are just a small roadblock that makes for a great adventure. My fears, insecurities and struggles are all just roadblocks and something to give life a bit more flavor then just happy. Without gravity it would be nothing special to be an eagle.
So I suppose, my friends, the one thing I really hope for my birthday is that we all live. My hope for all of us is that we find the joy in all things. Lets find the light in the tunnel, the sunrise after the storm and the flowers that bloom after winter as faded... even if we are still in the middle of your winter, lets find them anyway.