Its been a while. Every now and again people that believe in my ability to write ask me why I stopped. I think I feel so much pressure to be silly that I find myself overwhelmed with the attempt to try. So I make no promises save that I will keep trying. And if you wanted to read something more serious, I'm working on recounting the story of my journey through the football team. Its slightly terrifying to think that I'm going to put it all out there, but what am I if I cannot be known by those I love and those that love me?
New blog is here
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I coulda been...
So some girls at my work just recently left our job to go pursue nursing careers. And this got me thinking.
I would like to be a doctor, but blood is yucky.
I would like to be a cop, but Im completely afraid of the dark and of dead things.
I want to be a helicopter pilot, but Im afraid of heights.
I want to be a firefighter, but I like setting fires too much.
I could be a chef, but I have a habit of sneaking food.
I was telling a girl at work this and she said, "Well, looks like this job is the right one for you!" I think shes right.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Truth
I jogged 2 kilometers the other day. Im really proud of myself. I think Ima make it! Im not even worried about collapsing and dying in the middle of that 5k race at the end of the month.
Alright fine, thats not really all that true. I walk/jogged that 2k... but it was uphill! So I was still workin hard on the whole thing!
Ug ok so only half of it was uphill. I finally got to the top of the hill, said a few cuss words and turned around and jogged back home.
*le sigh* So I didnt jog back home. I walked uphill for 1k and then it wasnt exactly jogging. It was more like wobbly legged shuffling with my tongue hanging out one side. Thankfully it was downhill, gravity was doing most of the work for me and I was planning on calling my roomie to have him come pick me up, but he was asleep at the time and frankly, he would take so long to get there, I would probably just stop and take a nap on the side of the road. So I just kept flopping my legs infront of me as gravity pulled me down hill. Its still good right? I mean 2k is further then I walked yesterday. Or the day before. Or for the last 5 years I think.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I have issues (kinda like this dude)
The other day was an off day if Ive ever seen one. Ever since I walked thru the revolving door the wrong way, the day just went to shit.
And yes, apparently it is possible to go the wrong way in a revolving door. What I learned first hand, was that one side has a metal bar and you push that. The wrong side noticibly does not have said metal bar and you end up pushing against the glass and not getting very far.
Dont worry tho, if you are anything like me, that lady waiting for you to finish making a fool of yourself will be helpful and the conversation will go like this.
You: Am I going the wrong way?
Helpful Lady: Yep...
You: Well alright then. *push grunt push*
And someone please tell me why I just realized Ive posted the last story all of like three times now!
In my defense, they took down the original because the website was having issues and I posted the second before I saw them repost the first. Yeah... or I just have issues. Case in point.
And yes, apparently it is possible to go the wrong way in a revolving door. What I learned first hand, was that one side has a metal bar and you push that. The wrong side noticibly does not have said metal bar and you end up pushing against the glass and not getting very far.
Dont worry tho, if you are anything like me, that lady waiting for you to finish making a fool of yourself will be helpful and the conversation will go like this.
You: Am I going the wrong way?
Helpful Lady: Yep...
You: Well alright then. *push grunt push*
And someone please tell me why I just realized Ive posted the last story all of like three times now!
In my defense, they took down the original because the website was having issues and I posted the second before I saw them repost the first. Yeah... or I just have issues. Case in point.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
10 Headlights
I cant believe they deleted like the best post Ive ever posted. Whatever, Im not bitter.
IM TOTALLY BITTER.
So yesterday I was listening to Elton John's "Tony Danza" while jogging one morning. (For those of you that prefer the correct title its "Tiny Dancer") The part that stuck with me was 'counting headlights on the highway.' This will make sense in a bit.
Im determined to do this 5k at the end of the month. Im determined to remain upright thru the whole thing and not die really. But I found this website that allows me to map my runs and I can see how far away someplace is. So I found this place to go to thats about 5k to go there and back home. The problem with the website is it doesnt tell you which streets are busy and which streets dont have sidewalks.
So 5:30 in the *badword* morning and here I am jogging my bum down to the military base. I got to this part on a very busy street where the sidewalk dies. So rather then play frogger for 5k, I decided to run in the ditch. Im sure you can already imagine how this story is gonna go.
You know that way of falling when your momentum is going forward and you try to go faster to catch up with yourself? And eventually end up barreling towards whatever obstacle is coming up, may it be the ground or a wall? In my case it was a post. Like a telephone post.
To further illistrate my point, check out this link at :31 to see what Im talking about.
And as I was running and trying not to eat it, racing straight towards this post, I started counting the headlights on the highway. 10 to be exact. 5 cars with at least 5 people in them watched me kinda eat it.
IM TOTALLY BITTER.
So yesterday I was listening to Elton John's "Tony Danza" while jogging one morning. (For those of you that prefer the correct title its "Tiny Dancer") The part that stuck with me was 'counting headlights on the highway.' This will make sense in a bit.
Im determined to do this 5k at the end of the month. Im determined to remain upright thru the whole thing and not die really. But I found this website that allows me to map my runs and I can see how far away someplace is. So I found this place to go to thats about 5k to go there and back home. The problem with the website is it doesnt tell you which streets are busy and which streets dont have sidewalks.
So 5:30 in the *badword* morning and here I am jogging my bum down to the military base. I got to this part on a very busy street where the sidewalk dies. So rather then play frogger for 5k, I decided to run in the ditch. Im sure you can already imagine how this story is gonna go.
You know that way of falling when your momentum is going forward and you try to go faster to catch up with yourself? And eventually end up barreling towards whatever obstacle is coming up, may it be the ground or a wall? In my case it was a post. Like a telephone post.
To further illistrate my point, check out this link at :31 to see what Im talking about.
And as I was running and trying not to eat it, racing straight towards this post, I started counting the headlights on the highway. 10 to be exact. 5 cars with at least 5 people in them watched me kinda eat it.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Ug Neighbors
Ill be honest. There are times when I feel like I cannot say what I want to say on here because of the people or the religious affiliation of the people that read this blog. It causes me to hold back. Sadly, it makes me feel like I cant be me and I cant say all the things I want to say. So Im not going to anymore. I am who I am and if it bothers you, well then I will have one regular reader instead of two! (sorry Mom, but dont worry, Ill always find some reason to apologize to you in every post... apparently its a thing.)
That being said, my old neighbor took a face dive off his roof on Easter and dared to bleed in my yard. Naturally, I started shouting at my roommate who I call Odin. The shouts went something like this, "Odin! That old man fell off the roof! You go out there while I call 911, you know how I do with dead things."
I have found my new pet peeve. Its nosey neighbors. Apparently when you have a police car, a fire truck and an ambulance all parked out front, everyone and their grandmother (literally) come tromping thru my grass to see what all the fuss was about. Of course they used the excuse of wanting to come introduce themselves. You know, because everyone spends their Easter Sunday afternoon flouncing around peoples yards introducing yourselves to the neighbors.
That being said, my old neighbor took a face dive off his roof on Easter and dared to bleed in my yard. Naturally, I started shouting at my roommate who I call Odin. The shouts went something like this, "Odin! That old man fell off the roof! You go out there while I call 911, you know how I do with dead things."
I have found my new pet peeve. Its nosey neighbors. Apparently when you have a police car, a fire truck and an ambulance all parked out front, everyone and their grandmother (literally) come tromping thru my grass to see what all the fuss was about. Of course they used the excuse of wanting to come introduce themselves. You know, because everyone spends their Easter Sunday afternoon flouncing around peoples yards introducing yourselves to the neighbors.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Im hungry!
Currently, I am listening to Elton John's Tiny Dancer. This song stirrs nostaliga in me. Which is silly since I wasnt even born when this song came out. For as silly as I am, the line that resonates with me is 'count the headlights on the highway'. Mostly because of my experience yesterday morning.
I decided that by the end of this month, I would at least shuffle thru a 5k that is being held in Little Rock. My company is sponsoring it. My goal before my birthday was to run a marathon and while I highly doubt that will happen, I need to stop hiding from my goals and at least try for them.
So there I was, half asleep, wondering if the sun would be coming up at all yesterday morning. I had found this website that helps me see how far Ive run so I had it all down. I was ready to go until I realized I had chosen a route on a busy street with no sidewalks. Refusing to use that as an excuse to give up, I starting trying to speed walk thru a ditch. As you can imagine it didnt go well.
You know that way of falling when your momentum is ahead of you and you cannot seem to catch up with it, no matter how fast you run? So you end up doubled over and barreling forward, trying to keep your face from that first bite of asphalt? Right so I was doing that straight into a pole right in front of a line of cars.
To further illistrate my point, this link will take you to a video of people falling. Which, is classic in itself, but if you watch at 58 seconds, the woman sliding down the slide, thats what Im talking about. Like a duck running.
I was thankfully falling parallel to the road so I wasnt in danger, but those cars that were driving by at the time, I was counting those headlights in the early dawn light. 10 headlights to be exact... 5 cards with at least 5 people watching me faceplant. It was a good morning.
This idea brings me to a new subject. (Not really, I just needed a transition of some sort.) One of my coworkers has lost a lot of weight and I was asking her some questions about it. She gave me some tools that look like they could really help me. She also told me that eventually, your stomach adjusts to your new meal size and eventually you stop being hungry. Well let me tell you, three pounds down, three days into it and Im still hungry. Ive started fantasizing like that lion on Madagascar. You know when he starts running up and chewing on the zebra? Yeah... Im hungreh.
I decided that by the end of this month, I would at least shuffle thru a 5k that is being held in Little Rock. My company is sponsoring it. My goal before my birthday was to run a marathon and while I highly doubt that will happen, I need to stop hiding from my goals and at least try for them.
So there I was, half asleep, wondering if the sun would be coming up at all yesterday morning. I had found this website that helps me see how far Ive run so I had it all down. I was ready to go until I realized I had chosen a route on a busy street with no sidewalks. Refusing to use that as an excuse to give up, I starting trying to speed walk thru a ditch. As you can imagine it didnt go well.
You know that way of falling when your momentum is ahead of you and you cannot seem to catch up with it, no matter how fast you run? So you end up doubled over and barreling forward, trying to keep your face from that first bite of asphalt? Right so I was doing that straight into a pole right in front of a line of cars.
To further illistrate my point, this link will take you to a video of people falling. Which, is classic in itself, but if you watch at 58 seconds, the woman sliding down the slide, thats what Im talking about. Like a duck running.
I was thankfully falling parallel to the road so I wasnt in danger, but those cars that were driving by at the time, I was counting those headlights in the early dawn light. 10 headlights to be exact... 5 cards with at least 5 people watching me faceplant. It was a good morning.
This idea brings me to a new subject. (Not really, I just needed a transition of some sort.) One of my coworkers has lost a lot of weight and I was asking her some questions about it. She gave me some tools that look like they could really help me. She also told me that eventually, your stomach adjusts to your new meal size and eventually you stop being hungry. Well let me tell you, three pounds down, three days into it and Im still hungry. Ive started fantasizing like that lion on Madagascar. You know when he starts running up and chewing on the zebra? Yeah... Im hungreh.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)