The Boat Name is Beluga

Synergy Russian Sailing Team, a photo by blue.shark on Flickr.

Thats why I chose this picture. (for those of you that wouldnt get it)

So... I am just going to say it. Hello world, I am fat. From a young age, I started my love affair with food that has yet to end. I used to eat fast. Fast as in I used to eat like my life depended on finishing that meal in three seconds flat. I was a serious eater.

On top of my inability to slow down, I used to steal food. Sorry mom, but Im putting it out there. I would sneak a biscut or, and I am so sad to admit this, butter. Yep... I used to steal butter. Sad thing is it wasnt even real butter. We used that stuff in the brownish-grey tub and I used to eat it.

I know, we are all gagging right now, it's not just you.

It is not easy for me to write these things. I am ashamed of this blog post. However, for as difficult as this writing is, I feel like it needs to be written. This is no longer about you, whatever audience I have on here, its about me.

Perhaps it should have always been about me, but I never really felt I deserved something to be all about me. Not really anyway. If you know me, you know I joke about being queen of the world and everything revolving around me, but that is all just silly jokes.

I think, for the first time, I feel like this is about me simply because it should be. This need to feel like the person I know I can be, this need to stop depending on food to control my emotions or hide from whatever pain. These ways I have enambled myself into obesity are no longer acceptable. So now we've opened the door. I guess we just go through it now right?