I miss you Gma

Heritage Flight 1
Originally uploaded by blue.shark

I drink my coffee cold. It's a habit since I was a child. I know this sounds odd, but I remember lazy mornings when I was visiting my grandparents, my grandma would always drink her coffee until the dregs of it were cold. She would wrinkle her nose and set that little coffee mug down.

Usually she would sit at the little table in her motor home drinking her coffee and I would sit in the drivers seat. These mornings were something I will remember forever with her. She seemed so relaxed as I would imagine getting ready to drive her wherever she wanted to go. Naturally though, with that motor home facing my grandfather's garden, she would ask me how we were going to get there without running it over.

My response was always the same. It was as sure as the changing of the seasons. In fact, my entire childhood was about flying. I used to have such dreams about being able to fly wherever I wanted to go. I would point out to her, as I took her for her flights, all the features of my hometown I could think of.

Later, when working on forest fires, I used to adore rides in a helicopter. It was much like those times with my grandmother and I quickly started to dream of becoming a pilot. This dream, like many of Mr. Darling's dreams that have to be put away for now. Someday, I will fly.

But back to the coffee. When fire fighting, I worked sixteen hour shifts and I remember for the first time in my life, really understanding what sleep deprivation really was. I was tired constantly and with no days off, I had to cope somehow.

I learned in my camp, the difference between good coffee and bad coffee. I learned that once you pour enough cream in it to kill the bitterness, coffee becomes one of the best things in the world. And each time, I drink it really slow, finding it more enjoyable as it gets colder.

Every time I finished flying grandma around, she would scoff at the nasty cold coffee and let me drink the rest. And I would sip at it like an adult. She was always so surprised that I would drink it like that, but even up to this day, I drink it cold and remember what it was like to fly.

Siblings

Gorillas
Originally uploaded by blue.shark

Every November is National Novel Writing Month and every November, someone sends me something about it thinking I may be interested. Obviously, every November I think about how awesome it would be and how I simply could not do it.

But this November, my brother sent me the link.

My brother used to be the kid that would say things like, "Hey, go eat that berry and see if it makes you puke." Naturally, I would be the kid that responded with, "Ok!" So maybe its this month. Maybe this time, something gets done.

My uncle used to say to never marry a dreamer. He said dreamers will always be the ones to think up brilliant things and never do anything to accomplish them.

So I find myself torn between being a dreamer and being a doer. Of course, I hesitate to tell you if I actually try since that would just make me feel like I was setting myself up for failure on a very public level.

But maybe... just maybe.

Happy Samhein!

Flowers
Originally uploaded by blue.shark

This is a letter to the man in the field. So everyone else can disregard.

Dear Man in the Field,
You know, I like the new year too; with all the kids running from door to door. Had I known I needed a light on and a pumpkin in order for kids to stop, then I may not be enjoying chocolate for lunch! But after the bitter disappointment of my mistake last night, I must say you turned my day around.

First of all, driving to work in the dark is pretty depressing, I will agree with you there. The chocolate I had kept safe from the marauding children definatly helped or else I may have really been hurting today. Anywho, so early in the morning, before the sun comes up, I met you.

Im not a wiccan. Ive been to a wiccan event and I have friends. I am curious about it really. From what Ive seen so far, they are party people, but sitting cross legged in a field at 6:30 am singing kumbayah has got to beat two bags of chocolate any day.

Seriously, props my friend. When everyone else worships for two hours and decides to go home, there you are scaring the spastic colon out of some sugar hyped woman driving to work.

Anyways, happy Samhein (Halloween for all you other people) my friend. May we all celibrate with as much gusto as you. (the flowers are for you since its fall and there probably werent any in that field)

Oh, and PS. If you are looking for some chocolate, Im not telling you where I live.

Love Kiki